So here's one of the more challenging things about sexual behavior and sex education: it's SO personal and thus must be highly personalized, much more so than our physical aggression, self-injury, mand, etc. programs.
That said, there are some "standardized" things you can use.
- For people with more significant learning challenges, I stay far away from any canned curricula and focus on figuring out the best way to teach them what they need to know - look at how they learn everything else and start there.
- Social Stories, for those with a history of success with them.
- Pictures, models, videos.
- Dave Hingsburger has 3 videos: Hand Made Love (male masturbation), Finger Tips (female masturbation), and Under Cover Dick (condom use).
- www.sexsmartfilms.com has a number of videos.
- Communicating About Sexuality is an add-on CD you can get to supplement Boardmaker.
- I've used Google images on occasion.
- If you use a phalice, get one that's as realistic as possible, not a silver bullet.
- I advise against teaching masturbation unless all else fails, and even then look for more alternatives. It's pretty rare that someone really has no clue how to self pleasure.
- First look at meds: most of the meds our guys take have sexual side effects (which, incidentally, is also the name of a punk rock band from Atlanta), including erectile dysfunction, delayed orgasm, and impotence. Often a medication holiday or adjustment solves the problem.
- Second, get a good lubricant: I suggest Good Clean Love or Sliquid - both are water based and all natural, so no allergen issues and they don't get sticky or dry out.
- Use videos, such as the ones I mentioned above.
- Make sure the person has enough "private time" and that he or she is not rushed. Staff should ALWAYS knock on closed doors.
- I like to create a box of supplies for my guys - I use a shoebox so it's opaque, and put in their lube, tissues, and any arousal materials (videos, magazines, etc.). It stays out of view of people walking in the room, say on a closet shelf or under the bed.
When looking at inappropriate sexual behavior: Remember SEX IS BEHAVIOR. That means it's got some antecedent and is maintained by some consequence(s). Now, the silly thing about sex is that it feels good. So, people assume "feels good" is the reinforcer. And it might be ONE of the reinforcerS. But when we look at the antecedents, we get clued in to other things that just might play a significant role. In a few scenarios I've seen masturbation always immediately followed a specific task demand... Now I'm not saying that all of the time masturbation occurs to escape task demands, but if you think about it, it's a pretty effective way! Oh, and it feels good! In a few situations, I've also seen that it's the parent/staff response to it that seems to be the reinforcer. So the up-shot is: Collect data. Analyze it. And come to a behaviorally-sound decision about what's going on, and treat accordingly. I personally shy away from experimental functional analysis in these situations, because I'm not comfortable, ethically, with evoking masturbation... But that's just me.